Vision blurred between reality and fiction
Caught in the web of life, lies and emotion addiction
Cherishing the moment of exchanging my vowels
Only to be more disgusted than moving my bowels
Till death do us part
A wish of death before we start
Death providing a memory of success
When the union is based on sucking sex
You were my AI, the answer to my equation
Calculations based on AI and societal persuasion
Mis-education from a love of 30 plus years
Sharing the goal of hiding their fist full of tears
Not understanding why the wings are only pretty when she flies
And when she stays her worth is the only thing her man denies
Now, I know better late than never
People with content and stagnant minds tend to stay together
That's why I had to get the hell up out of there
I like the sound of the phrase "emotion addiction." I think that the break from the couplet form is particularly effective--the reader had just gotten used to these couplets when the narrator not only breaks form but also, inside the poem, breaks away from the love that isn't working. I might be interested to see what would happen in this kind of a form, but with a more consistent rhythm to the words. Keep writing!
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I like your AB AB rhythm, but the last sentence definitely emphasized the true intentions of the poem. Very strong, I liked it. Your word choice was very interesting and more unique than other poems I've seen of this subject. The title however makes me wonder, what is the definition of a "true relationship". Thanks for sharing, major snaps :)
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The title however makes me wonder, what is the definition of a "true relationship"I might be interested to see what would happen in this kind of a form, but with a more consistent rhythm to the words. Keep writing!
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