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Hand & Glove

Imperfection

Open Letter to the women looking for a "Good Guy"

"There are slim pickings of men out there". This is a phrase among many that is used to say that there are a lot of good women but not enough good men. I'm sad to report but if you utter this phrase the problem is probably you.

Single women or women who are "fine on their own", usually say this to make excuses for their bad luck or missed opportunities in relationships but that phrase shows a mindset that contributes to the lack of relationship success. It is true that there are very few men out there that are financially stable, successful in their career and ready to settle down as a package but that isn't a problem. That level of achievement takes time; not months, not years but decades. These things aren't innate but developed over time.

Women that say "there aren't enough good men" out there is usually because they are single, bitter or highly impressionable (watch to much TV). They reject unsuccessful (broke, too ambitious, not settled, all over the place) men that have goals and dreams for men that are skilled at temporarily satisfying (buys gifts, watches reality tv on a big screen, owns a 2001 Lexus, and promises monogamy).

Women that have good or successful men understand that when they met there man in his 20's or 30's, they needed to sympathize with his mind that concentrates on exploration than settling. They supported his decision to be broke and free, rather than content and stagnant.  Women with good men tend to stick by her man's side after a mistake and during the journey toward greatness but a woman who is always looking for that "good man" or complete mans seems to have the coolest cliches for why she is to good for a man.

There are men without extravagant dreams/goals, who just wants a 9-5, kids and will try to be faithful who can be considered good  but if he is overweight, emotional, and super ordinary; don't complain. Many women will critize a loving father and caring husband because he is boring or not the cover of GQ magazine.  

There are many good men out there but a woman's expectations can really ruin his vibe. A lot of this can be really tricky so here is a quick guide to determine if you are dealing with a good guy. A bad guy will make your first and second date seem perfect and have you walking away thinking he is sent from God because being "amazing" is so easy. A good guy will be honest with you about who he is and where he is going in life and may have dreams that will take a level of energy and effort that will exhaust you just by listening to it. A good woman will support and walk with him through the ups and downs or decide that she doesn't want to get in his way. A bad woman temporarily supports him just to ease her lonliness. She will  try to change him or get in the way of his goals because she wants more attention.

Being good is a progressive process and being great takes a realistic woman (vice versa). Some ingredients that makes a complete man only comes from experience. While many women are loooking for that "good"or complete man. He is looking for that incomplete woman to grow with because what is love without empathy.

Are you